


so long and goodnight

by 97nebulae



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Drabble Collection, Implied Relationships, M/M, Pining, Romance, Self Confidence Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-01
Updated: 2015-07-01
Packaged: 2018-03-15 18:44:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3457784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/97nebulae/pseuds/97nebulae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Iwaizumi and Oikawa have always been an odd pair, but somehow they make it work - somehow, in the quiet of summer nights, it feels right.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. star

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompt: things you said under the stars and in the grass (for @fabflyingfox)

It is a warm summer, one of those where the air is ridiculously hot, even when the sunlight hides behind clouds and drops of rain; even when the sun dips beneath the horizon.

Oikawa loves it. It sets his mind at ease, the clear night sky offering twinkling treasures to his eyes and food for his thoughts. It makes him wonder why he loves watching Apollo’s brethren glow, when it itself just blinds him every other day. It makes him dream of other worlds and creatures born from foreign circumstances and odd customs.

But above all, it makes him smile. One of those genuine, barely there grins that Iwaizumi has reluctantly grown so fond of.

During these moments, with the fresh grass tickling their backs, they can pretend nothing else matters. They can pretend that volleyball, Ushijima, Kageyama- _defeat_  don’t exist, that the hatred Oikawa harbors for himself and the anger Iwaizumi feels are nothing but weird, distant dreams. An illusion so fragile a simple sound could shatter it and send the tears spilling again with screams full of care and worries following.

So they don’t talk. They never talk. Iwaizumi just admires his friend’s eyes reflect speckles of light a little too much, and pretends his own are dry.


	2. oikawa tooru

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iwaizumi loses faith.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers for the last Seijou/Karasuno match.

Numb.

Iwaizumi feels so numb.

Everytime,  _every fucking time_ they lose, it's Oikawa who's bummed out, it's him who loops back into self-destructive practice and lies painting his smiles with a horrible, gooey feeling.  _Sickening._

So why the fuck?

Why the fuck is it Iwaizumi, not Oikawa, who's feeling- well, feeling nothing really; feling like his heart is being eaten whole from the inside out, the beast pounding at his ribcage and clawing at his lungs and breathing cold fire into his throat? Feeling like his big stupid meaty dumb  _useless_ brain has been encased in ice and just _won't fucking start up again_? _  
_

Suddenly, he feels like laughing- of course,  _of course_ he's the one to crack, in the end, because it's Oikawa who is captain after all- not Iwaizumi. When it's the last match and everyone is blaming themselves harder than ever, it's Oikawa who stands tall, proud of everything they have accomplished. Because Oikawa has always been better, brighter, more competent, more more more-

And Iwaizumi has always been less.

He's not blind, he's not stupid- he knows his childhood friend didn't go to Shiratorizawa because Iwaizumi couldn't- because, as the dumbass said himself, volleyball just isn't the same when they're not together. Even as they both know that, eventually, they'll have to let go and part ways- Oikawa is just that selfish, and Iwaizumi finds himself too happy to comply.

It disgusts him a little bit. How he's completely fine with holding Oikawa back, if it means he can cling to him a little tighter, if he can believe they have a future together a little longer.

But now, Oikawa doesn't need him anymore. He can stand on his own, be the fake, hard-working genius setter with the steel determination everyone wants him to be.

Without a dumb ace who fucked up when his team needed him most.

Without a loud, short-tempered childhood friend who worries all the time.

Without him.

Finally, Oikawa Tooru can be, alone, without Iwaizumi Hajime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twitt @ mah0uka


End file.
